from the library once again..

EXAMS!!!!
oh dear lord, why did you create human beings who have sufficient brain cells to invent something called 'examinations'??? why why oh why??

i really cant stand the stress of exams.. really. as much as the beautiful thought of having ONLY 3 weeks to spend in this college till i'm completely done is dancing in my head, exam stress and preparations keep pounding into me! damn bad shape la. its that whole SPM feeling again you know. where you cant watch a movie, hang out with your friends, have looooong lunches, go for a date with your bf without feeling GUILTY!!
aaaaaaaaaaaargh!!

it's not that i hate studying or the chapters are tough you know, its just that quizzical feeling whether you've studied enough to be able to face the examination and know that you can score good results. and trust me, my college isnt really a place you'll be willing to spend another 6 months willingly just to score well and proceed with your degree you know.
its a place you'll be just waiting to go away and never return. once you've left, you might even find ways to not come back to collect your fantastic results, if you've got fantastic results that is.

so, anyways, i have forbidden all the mentioned things that a normal human being would do for relaxation and completely focus on my studies though i dont really have to.

moving on, my lecturer..
haiyo.. i cant stand the sight of him la! he's damn bloody annoying. my friends would definitely know how i usually am towards educators. i DONT go against them or miss their classes on purposes.
(at least i dont do them now when i am studying in a college, though i used to when i was in school. *wink*)

but anyways, i DONT do that these days you know. and do you know something?! this stupid lecturer of mine, keeps treating me like a student who actually does such things you know. he keeps saying...

upon teaching a really tough sum... "this is why you should attend my lessons and not skip them and loiter around brickfields."
do you know that in a week, i only go to my mom's shop like twice, and the rest of the time i'm only at home or college? i dont even skip his lessons in the first place!

"you know dakshini, you should be like the rest and spend some extra time in college and not keep rushing to go back home all the time"
the only reason why i look as if i'm rushing all the time to go home right after lessons is because i have a MOTHER who has a busy schedule that comes all the way to just pick me up. unlike the rest who have cars and drive to college and most of them live in the hostel. i cant help it right? if you say that you are gonna finish your lessons at 4pm, you have to finish it at 4pm, or if you wish to extend it, you should just shut up and let me inform my mom to come a little later. if you dont do both, i have to rush and leave the class asap right?? you can expect me to just lepak in class while you teach and not be bothered about my mom waiting outside for so long right?!

if i ask him a question regarding a mathematical sum that i had difficulties solving... "why are you asking me such simple questions?? this means that you have not been revising and your base in mathematics is very weak! you're simply not a bright student. you definitely cannot get an A in you exam la."
FYI, i do not ask simple questions ok?! my maths is good (not that i am boasting) and that question is tough! when another student asks a bloody freaking simple question, he'll complete the whole thing without saying anything. but if it is, he'll make me and my question sound so stupid.

i really cant stand my college la. its so bloody annoying when you have a lecturer who keeps bullying you and treating you like dirt. i'm so bloody irritated. like i dont have other things to worry about and concentrate, these dumb asses have to put salt on my wounds.

damn this college and their screwed up lecturers.
nevertheless, there's always something good in a pile of crap. that would be my chemistry lecturer who i ahev nothing to complain about till this very date.

~stress~